This week...

My heart is full as I reflect on this past week. I've obviously thought a lot about the passing of our beloved prophet as I watched the specials and his funeral. But on a more personal note, Mark's grandmother, Julia Bartlett Swan, passed away this week too. I reflected a lot on my own personal convictions and gratitude for my knowledge of the plan of salvation. Where would I be without the gospel? I shudder to think... I also took a moment to reflect on what I wanted to learn from, or take from, my relationships with these two people who were so important to me. So, forgive me as I indulge in a little introspection.

Grandma: From Grandma, I learned that attitude is everything. Grandma lost her mother when she was only 6 years old. At the young and impressionable age of 12, she was separated from her family as the seven children were split up to live with various family members. Although she never really had a true nucleus of a family, she knew better than many the importance of a happy family life and was so full of love. Grandma tragically became a widow in her 40's, with a still-young family to raise. Yet she never let that stop her from working hard and moving forward. She raised those kids, worked full-time, still made time for gardening, canning, reading and improving. And finally, in her final weeks, she suffered still more trials than a woman with her fair-share deserved. She lay confused and in pain with a broken neck, a broken hip, pneumonia, bronchitis, a rash and infections. Yet, when family visited her after a rough day, she said, "I've been grumpy today, haven't I?" And continued to apologize and promise to try harder to be happier. Man... if she can have a good attitude, and press forward through all the trials she's been through, then I can show more optimism in my relatively easy and pampered life. Am I doing my best to have a good attitude?

Pres. Hinckley: From President Hinckley, I learned (well... just one of MANY lessons) that I need to try a little harder to be a little better. There were many impressionable moments of his life and words that affected me, but one story that really touched me was mentioned at his funeral. I can't remember which speaker it was, but it was told that he once was standing in the Hall of Prophets, looking at the pictures of all the prophets before him in this dispensation. He reflected that he felt so inadequate to be among that group of great men. (yah... unfathomable to me, but proves his humility!) But he didn't let that get him down. He just said that he would give the Lord his best, as he oft times proclaimed to do. That to me is such a great example. Am I giving the Lord my very best? Or do I make excuses for my mediocrity? When I heard that story, I was so touched to try harder to be better and truly give my best.

These two people, along with countless others both here and gone, have touched my life so much. I'm so blessed to be surrounded by such a wonderful family and such supportive friends. But most of all, I'm so blessed to have a Savior that loves me so perfectly and completely. He suffered and died for me, not for His personal pride or gain, but out of pure, unselfish love. He did this, so that I, if worthy, might be a joint heir with Him of all that my Heavenly Father has. In this temporal state, that's almost hard to fathom -- someone suffering more immensely than I can imagine, only to give the reward of that suffering equally to anyone and everyone just because he loves them. What an amazing gift. My heart is overflowing with gratitude.

I wish feelings like this could last all day, every day, and make me the better person that I long to be. As the daily grind wears down on me, I don't want to forget the resolve that I feel tonight to do and be better. I guess that's our test in life, huh? Enduring. I hope I can endure well.